Meet The Author (aka Poop Bag Forgetter): Caroline
Sophie is our first dog. We’ve had to learn not to get our feelings hurt when she doesn’t want to cuddle, shrug it off when she refuses a treat, sheepishly apologize when she doesn’t want to socialize with other dogs. She can be a bit of a snob, but we love her all the same. But the first time she left me hanging in the middle of the most posh street in Manhattan’s West Village without a poop bag….suffice to say, it was humiliating.
Sophie is about ten pounds but she thinks she’s a 60-pound lab meant to be in the field all day. She’s either reigning over her estate from the back stoop or flushing out the squirrels like a lunatic. She struts with this sense of pride that oscillates between reserved royalty and ridiculous bully. All this to say, she loves the outdoors and lives for our walks. It’s her time to shine beyond the confines of our tiny city garden while she sees what else is out there.
Have you ever left your poop bag at home?
Always On Time
It just happened to be a late Sunday morning – perfect fall weather, prime conditions for al fresco brunch, family bike rides, and romantic strolls. Everyone was out and about. Between her jumping up in my face every five seconds and the beckoning sunshine (and caffeine), I guess it just slipped my mind to check that damn red silicone poop bag holder on the leash – which has now become my equivalent of a face mask. Nonetheless, we dart out the door and begin our lovely Sunday stroll.
Then boom. Like a forgotten meeting, it hits me. She squats and it’s too late. I can’t move her along – we’re too far from home. I can’t shuffle her over, there are no bushes or hidden areas. There is no stopping this. I’m torn between being a bobble head looking for witnesses and freezing hoping to be invisible as I realize I am out of poop bags.
Citizen’s Arrest?
Alongside the gut punch of anxiety, fear sets in – how am I going to solve this? When I can’t, how is it going to go down? Angry neighbor I have to see daily? Citizen’s arrest with impending viral video? Police fine? Then the self-hate comes in – how can I be this irresponsible at 36? I can’t even take care of an f’ing dog? That spiral lasted a good 30 seconds.
Then I remember…oh yeah, freaking John took her out last. Typical.
Rebel Rebel & A Trashy Miracle
Then the rebellion sets in…just maybe we can get away with this. After all, this is New York – there’s poop everywhere, right? Or maybe I can MacGyver my way out of it. As I’m calculating a million different scenarios, Queen of Sheba is ready to move on, eyes smirking and neck pulling forward. Annoying but yeah, let’s get this show on the road. I’m nervously smiling to passersby as we awkwardly hover over her “spot” and I’m twirling my fingers in that damn poop bag holder.
And then there it is, a certain “bag” of sorts, a new kind of poop bag if you will (okay, it’s not exactly a bag, but it’ll work): a salmon-pink colored, Americano-stained coffee cup teetering on top of the trash can. In one (literal) fell swoop, Sophie had somehow made a 36-year old woman delighted to be down on one knee scooping up behind her. Maybe she’s got the pride thing figured out after all. Mom could probably take a few tips.
Should you find yourself sweating it out bagless on the street, not to worry – we’ve got you covered with a few ideas. From recycling refuse to supporting your local corner store, we’re getting creative with poop scooping.
Tips and Tricks from a Recovering Poop Bag Forgetter:
- LOL (Look Out for Litter): Reuse a piece of litter or nearby garbage – coffee cups, newspaper, snack bags. It’s not exactly the cleanest solution, but is anything about this clean? It’s better than no poop bag.
- Calling All Actors: Casually scan the scene and pretend to pick up. Or, take care of that crazy important email on your phone and pretend not to see it. Both risky (and let’s face it, not community friendly) – get ready for the judgment.
- Patience and Your Best Neighborly Smile: Wait for the next dog-parent duo to pass by and borrow…we’ve all been there.
- Snack Pack: Run in your closest corner store and purchase the cheapest snack (everyone takes Apple Pay these days, right?). Viola, your chip bag becomes your poop bag.
- Do-Gooder: Head back home and return with your bag for clean-up…for all you model citizens out there.
Have you forgotten your dogs poop bag before? Any other ideas? We’d love to hear them at whatthepup@spotandtango.com
