6 Signs You’re Crazy Obsessed With Your Dog! Each year in August, I honor National Spoil Your Dog Day with my Corgi, Kiro. It’s truly the one time when owners can get away with doing anything for their pups.
However, I also spoil my dog all of the other 364 days of the year! In fact, my friends feel that the obsessive love I have for Kiro is ‘extra A.F.’ And they’re not wrong.
It took me a while to realize how dog-obsessed I am, but now that I see it, I thought I’d share the several signs that indicate you, like me, are way too into your dog.
6 Signs Showing You’re a Next Level Doggy Parent
1. When you don’t know how to sleep without your dog anymore
Remember when we were little, crying for our favorite toy in bed? Well, sleeping without your pup… yah that’s even worse. You know you’re obsessing over your pal when you can’t get a full night’s rest without his paws on your head. In fact, you’ve grown accustomed to cherishing those nights – just like me.
Nights away from my widdle munchkin have led me to toss and turn all night. I’ll even find myself accidentally spooning my (bigger) man as if he’s Kiro. The only thing that makes me feel any better is my brand new interactive video camera that allows me to check in and chat with my pup when I’m not around. Talk about pro-obsession.
2. When you spend more on your dog than yourself for grooming
Eh, okay, so there are some of us out there giving our dogs the full Beyonce treatment. Like ordering another fragrance from Les Poochs even with that recent salary cut… you know who you are!
But in our defense, pets will never experience that joy of feeling ‘clean’ as we humans do after a long shower – unless given to them.
So, it feels every bit sane for me to do more than a hose-down or a lather-then-rinse of Kiro. Sure, a hundred bucks gets thrown into his bi-weekly treatments, compared to my $40 monthly-trim.
3. When you pamper your pooch with accessories
I honestly never understood tees or hoodies for dogs as I think my Kiro should be able to freely flaunt his natural (and expensive) coat whenever he likes. That said, this is coming from someone who also makes her dog wear an umbrella to protect that same coat…
Sigh, and okay, maybe his canine champagne bottle was indeed a little extra. But his stroller to cruise on down M.LK. boulevard… I mean come on, that’s just too cute.
In the end, very happy, though, that I never got the luxurious gold-thread doggy mattress online. Otherwise, my therapy sessions would have had to be canceled (of course, not Kiro’s).
4. When your dog has an Instagram account and more followers than you
We all like to say that your follower count doesn’t matter. But, once your dog’s account surpasses your own, you can’t help but wonder why your cute selfie on that summer patio isn’t quite living up to your pup curled up in his bed.
From famous online barkers like Jiff Pom to Loki the Wolfdog, my Corgi’s Instagram doesn’t come nearly as close to these celeb canines’ six-figures. However, I also don’t think the evenings spent trying to pose Kiro for the camera are that out of the ordinary.
I mean, he’s probably confused and miserable for losing out on his naps but he’s just too darn cute! I know that I could be doing more valuable things with my time than spending hours finding a few emojis or hashtags to jack up the comments. But nothing is quite like today’s large online community of dog parents drooling over other dogs while secretly hoping their pet lands a modeling contract. Anybody hear a ‘cha-ching’ yet?
5. When you have your dog as your phone’s ringtone and wallpaper
Nothing else kills a work meeting than when my cell suddenly goes off, playing “yip, yip” for two whole minutes. And, it’s actually a ringtone recording of Kiro’s bark! Cute, right? Or, to me, at least.
Thus, let it be known that plastering your dog’s face on any merchandise will grant you the office title of “crazy dog lady.” And so what if your pet is saved as a phone and desktop wallpaper. Harmless, right?
6. When you throw your dog their own birthday bash
And as if it couldn’t get any worse (or better, depending on who you talk to), the last, but definitely not least, critical sign of a doggy obsession is when you host a special occasion for your pup. I mean, don’t get me wrong, not only can Kiro catch up with his friends but it gives me the chance to see the other dog parents.
So, when his birthday rolls around, it only feels natural to shower him in gifts, wrap him in a ‘Birthday Boy’ sash and invite the whole crew over for the afternoon. Kiro and his friends spend the afternoon splashing around in the kiddie pool while us parents can sit back and enjoy more than a few glasses of bubbly. It’s really a win-win.
You may have heard that love can be crazy, if not crazy stupid. In my case, if over-obsessing about my dog is wrong, then I don’t want to ever be right.
