Does your dog get in the way when you and your partner are in the mood to have some adult time alone? If so, you aren’t alone! Dogs don’t always understand the meaning of personal space and are known for being curious about what their people are up to. Although many dog owners are embarrassed about talking about their sex life with their dog trainers, you would be surprised to know that you aren’t alone in navigating your sex life with a very curious dog at home. If you struggle to have alone time with your partner, here are some tips to help your dog from ruining your sex life.
Why Dogs Are in The Way:
To address the issue you might be having in the bedroom related to your dog’s presence, it’s essential to figure out precisely what is going on. For some people, the issue doesn’t have anything to do with the dog’s behavior and is just about the dog being there. Some dog owners or partners of dog owners can feel uncomfortable with having a dog in the bedroom during sex. Some people feel uncomfortable thinking their dog is watching while they have sex, which can impact an ability to get or stay in the mood. In other instances, your dog might be curious about what people on the bed are doing and try to jump up to investigate. Understandably, this is a major mood killer for people.
Boundaries Are Important:
Even if your dog’s presence in the bedroom doesn’t bother you, having an open and honest conversation with your partner about their comfort with having your dog in the bedroom is essential. If you or your partner aren’t comfortable having your dog in the bedroom, or your dog’s behavior makes it unpleasant for them to be in the room, it’s essential to find a way to respect that and keep your dog in another part of your home during sex.
Try not to be embarrassed about having the conversation; being able to talk openly about your boundaries regarding sex is important in any healthy relationship. It’s ok for someone not to want a canine voyeur watching from the other side of the bedroom or, even worse, on the bed. On the other hand, if everyone is ok with it, and your dog sleeps quietly in their own area of the bedroom, it’s fine to allow your dog to stay in the room. This decision is based on your dog’s behavior and what is best and most comfortable for you and your partner.
Give Your Dog Their Own Space:
If you want your dog out of your bedroom while having sex, it’s helpful to create a comfortable place for your dog so that you and your partner can have some privacy. Set your dog up in their own space in another area of your house. Give your dog a comfortable bed they like and toys to play with. If you find your dog is really distracted or curious about what you and your partner are getting up to, try giving your dog a dog-safe chew, a food-stuffed toy, or a food-releasing puzzle toy they enjoy. This will keep your dog occupied and focused on their own activity so you can have alone time together. Create a routine for your dog to go to that other area of the house to find rewarding activities when you go to your bedroom for some alone time with your partner. Soon enough, your dog will seek out going to their special place while you head off to the bedroom.
Create Boundaries:
If your dog is curious about what is happening in your bedroom, it’s perfectly ok to set up your environment to keep your dog from having access to your bedroom when you and your partner are having sex. To do this, you can use management strategies like crating your dog in another area of your home so they don’t have access to your bedroom when you have sex. You can also close your bedroom door or put a baby gate up at your bedroom or the stairway or hallway leading to your bedroom to create a barrier preventing your dog from accessing your room. Without being able to get into your room, your dog will go and settle in their area while you have some private time with your partner.
Still, Struggling?
If you’re still struggling to get in the mood because I can hear your dog in the house, it’s ok to ask for help! If your dog is distressed or unable to settle while you are in another area of your house having private time with your partner, consider working with a local dog trainer who can help you continue to work on helping your dog to be able to settle independently. If you have a social dog who goes to daycare, you can schedule days for your dog at daycare to coincide with date days with your partner. Alternatively, you can schedule a time to send your dog out with a walker to have some alone time with your partner while you work on helping your dog be more comfortable with alone time.
