Meet Clyde. A brindle French Bulldog who’s now our third Frenchie, after his ever-faithful brother Sam whom he never knew and joining my perfect little angel Penny. Though the most regal in lineage, let’s just say Clyde relishes his place as the third child. Blissfully ignorant, not a care in the world, and not exactly the polish associated with his fellow Frenchmen. He does a handful of embarrassing things that makes all cringe a bit.
But oh is he happy and sweet and loving and all things good that make us want a dog. So when he insists on doing something embarrassing, we just tilt our heads and grin. Oh Clyde.
7 Embarrassing Habits That Make Me Cringe but Love My Pup All the Same
1. Licks his privates
We’ve all dealt with this one (right?!), but there’s just no shame whatsoever. One minute we’re having a lovely walk through Lincoln Park, the next, he’s plopped down, hunched over, going where no mouth should ever go.
2. Humps my father-in-law’s leg
Again, not that uncommon, but must he do it with him – and every. single. time? They always love to target the non-dog parents. (This is something embarrassing we have a few tips to navigate though!)
3. Snores
It’s just a light hum, akin to a heavy breather or an old muffler, but it’s not exactly your favorite noise machine. And not the sleep sound my boyfriend/now fiancé (or I) would choose.
4. Maniacally barks at other dogs, especially those twice his size
For some reason, he’s as social as can be with humans, but any outsider pups – no bueno. Going on a civilized walk in the neighborhood is quite the feat.
5. Marks his territory on humans’ personal spaces (and nice things)
I’ll never forget walking down a snooty Florida beach and Clyde lovingly spraying a woman’s beach blanket and designer bag. Her ghastly looks as we both ran off, and I profusely apologized, were enough to keep me running for miles, equally aghast.
6. Snubs treats
It doesn’t go with his egalitarian, pomp-free attitude, but unless it’s dipped in European butter or is a perfectly seasoned steak – or basically any meal fit for humans – Clyde’s not interested in your treat. Whole pieces of chicken, yes; dry colored biscuit, absolutely not. I think he must secretly get a kick out of hearing me make excuses, whether to the bank teller or his grandparents.
7. Toots (silent but nearly deadly)
I knew bulldogs didn’t exactly create a home perfumery, but I thought a Frenchie might be slightly more discreet. We’ll be enjoying a lovely dinner, and bam! “Clyyyyyyyyde” with hands to the face, every time. You never get used to it.
What cringe-worthy things does your pup do? How do you react when they do something embarrassing? Tell us at whatthepup@spotandtango.com.
